Calimero's syndrome: self-sabotage and victimism | BEHAVIOUR | PACIFIST NEWSPAPER 

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Comportamento / 03/09/2020


Calimero's syndrome: self-sabotage and victimism

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Calimero's syndrome: self-sabotage and victimism

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The exaggeration of these complaints can be the reflexes of irritation caused by discouragement or by the unconscious mechanism of self-sabotage, the subject exposes a complicated plot of situations he lived or is experiencing, in order that his suffering is heard and considered.

The word complain is derived the Latin reclaire, which means “to shout or protest against”. In fact, we all know someone who complains all the time. The Italian psychoanalyst Saverio Tomasella analyzes this profile in his book: “Calimero's syndrome”, which refers to the person who keeps complaining about the bad things that happen in his life.

For Tomasella, there is an intense pain behind it and he mentions, as an example, the metaphor of an Italian-Japanese TV animation, with the name of Calimero. She tells the story of the main character: a moody black chick, a family of yellow chickens, who wears half of its eggshell on its head.

The chick was friendly, but naive. He spent his life whining, feeling unhappy and wronged. He became known, for saying phrases like: "It is an injustice, they abuse me because I am small". Thus, Calimero's syndrome is a contemporary phenomenon, which blames others for its failures, creating a climate of pessimism in the relationship of love, family, school, friendship, work, etc.

The exaggeration of these complaints can be the reflexes of irritation caused by discouragement or by the unconscious mechanism of self-sabotage, the subject exposes a complicated plot of situations he lived or is experiencing, in order that his suffering is heard and considered.

However, there is that Calimero who seeks only to dramatize his emotions in a victimistic way, in order to maintain a relationship of dependence with people. He still likes to point out someone else's mistakes, as a way of describing himself, and so he is unhappy with the happiness of others.

This is a complaining behavior that tends to distance people, as they have their own problems. According to Tomasella, Calimero's complaints hide “wounds” that stem traumatic childhood experiences, which triggers the “trigger” of so many complaints.

That is why, during childhood and adolescence, defeat can serve as a lesson and victory must be valued by parents and the school, contributing to the adult becoming a resilient being, who is able to cope and overcome adversity, transforming negative learning experiences.

In fact, Calimero is asking for “help” and does not want to harm anyone, however, it is necessary to understand the feelings and emotions in an objective and rational way of the individual suffering this syndrome, since he needs help to remove the “shell” egg your head, ”which symbolizes psychological trauma.

Psychotherapy is also indicated in this case, as it is a suffering resulting a distressing event or a large amount of stress that affects the subject's ability to face his emotions, which need to be worked out and resolved.

Therefore, sometimes shouting or protesting about something that bothers you can relieve tensions, however, lamenting, feeling unhappy and unfair at all times turns the person into a Calimero, who will distance you your family, friends and colleagues. job.

***

Jackson César Buonocore is a sociologist and psychoanalyst


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